The Quiz that Made me Late for NCT

GUY-ISH:
[X] you own a jersey
[X] you like being sweaty
[ ] you love mud
[X] you've played at least one sport on a team
[X] you've played more than 1 sport for fun
[ ] you hate pink
[ ] you love hoodies and jeans
[ ]pranks are fun
[X]dogs are better than cats
[ ]its funny when people get hurt
[ ] shopping is torture
[ ] pulling heads off dolls isnt creepy..its fun
[ ] u dont cry
[ ] sad movies suck
[ ] girl drama is stupid
[X] painting your nails is weird/stupid
[ ] you own a ps2
[ ] you own an xbox
[ ] you own a gamecube
[ ] at some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter
[ ] you own a psp
[ ] you used to be obsessed with power rangers
[ ] you watch sports center
[X] you watch sports on tv sometimes
[ ] gorey movies are the best!
[ ] you arent scared of anything
[ ] you take part in "male bonding"
[ ] you only go to your dad for advice
[ ] you own like a trillion baseball caps
[ ] you aren't sensitive
[X] no pain no gain
[ ] you like going to football games
[ ] night games rock
[ ] spiders and bugs are cool
[ ] you like to freak out your sister or brother
[ ] you used to or do collect baseball cards
[X] baggy pants are cool
[X] you get sports illustrated/other sports/ guy magazine
[ ] fire is cool
[ ] you don't babysit
[X] you're immature
[ ] its kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
[X] green black red or blue or silver are your favorite color(s)
[ ] romantic comedies are boring
[ ] you hate dressing up
[ ] you dont care about your hair
[ ] you love to go crazy and not care what people think
[ ] climbing is fun
[ ] contact sports like basketball are fun

Total = 12

GIRL-ISH

[ ] you wear lip gloss
[X] you shop
[ ] you wear eyeliner
[X] you buy different colored shirts
[ ] you wear halters and tube tops
[ ] you dont like shopping at hot topic
[X] you wear the color pink
[ ] you consider cheerleading a sport
[ ] you hate wearing the color black
[X] you love hanging at the mall
[ ] you like getting manicures and/or pedicures
[ ] you like wearing jewelery
[ ] skirts are a part of your wardrobe
[X] you take a long time doing your hair
[X] shopping is one of your favorite hobbies
[ ] you hate the movie star wars
[X] you cry in movies
[ ] you are/were in cheerleading, gymnastics, or dance
[X] it takes you more than 1/2 hour to get dressed and put on other accesories
[ ] you smile a lot more than u should

Girl : 8/20 equilized - 40/100
Guy : 12/50 equilized - 24/100

Hmm... If I'm only 24% guy... I can't imagine how many femmes are there out there... haha...

really sorry to my class for not following you all to bugis today...

was troubled by some things....

Anywayz, I got my angel costume already... Its not those big big wings, but... umm.. faerie wings?.. and a silvery sparko halo thingie...

Its like mega girly lah...

but... who cares. I'm not a normal guy.
(P.S. : To marcus who has been trying to shorten my "size" by a hell lot, I'm much more NORMAL in that aspect huh.)

umm.. ok... anywayz... had a really bad afternoon..

Presentation was horrific... I thought I was prepared to answer questions like "what is ATOM feed and XML feed?" or "how does Haloscan work?" or "What would drive people to your blog?"

but... apparantly, that wasn't the case...

ok.. I shall not brood about that topic....


At about 5:15 today, Andrew's insecurity clockwork twirled into motion and threw him into a depression again.
The mathematics all seemed to work against everything...

He. Him. Together.
Time. Trust. Test.
True. Tears.

Anwayz, to cut things short, I cried for a hell long time in the Starbucks at Scotts.

I havn't cried so much for so long... My shoulders were shaking and.. my digital fortress book got kinda soaked..

There were 2 boys beside me doing homework... One of the whispered quite audibly, in chinese, "This is the first time in real life I have seen a person in blazer, tie and business shirt cry."




"i need time to think.. I need my own space."

Usually, this is the sign of the end of a relationship... when a person doesn't want you in his space anymore, and when he thinks that you're an irritance...

I was crushed... It was like a break up statement to me...


So my heart hung on a rope for 3 hours, till I decided that I should call him and get the clear message...


Dominic... well,.... I kinda cried over the phone... (guess he didnt tell).....

I gave him a clear outline of why I'm insecure, my rational for being so and what aggrevates it....

I hope he truly understands now..


No. we're not going to break up...

no.... we're not...


but the hurt that i went through today was the deepest cut i ever experience in my entire life...

no... he didnt do anything wrong today....

Its just that I mapped out my insecurities, and finally saw why I was becoming more and more insecure...



but through my thought processes... I realized that Dominic is not a normal person to me.
If anybody else did that to me, I'd most likely declare him my enemy for life.

But, everything reversed, I clung onto Dominic tighter then ever.... hoping that everything I'm thinking is just a terible lie..

Its because I love him.

I love Dominic. For the hundredth time on this blog.... There has never been any name mentioned so many times on my blog before..

Its because I love him..

People say they envy Dominic. For having such a loyal boyfriend.

They don't understand that you're my last one.
They don't understand how much I love you.
They don't understand the sacrifices I would do for you...

Dominic... I was not serious when I said I wanted to test you...
There was only one test...

and that was the test of interference...

You passed it coz you allowed me to... and thats all...



So... I'm going to let you go...
Like the free bird that you always were...

I'll still love you the same, like always...

But with the trust..

You're free to do whatever you want.... I.. won't interfere anymore unless you want me to...


Be true to me, as I have always been true to you.
Love me, as I have always loved you.

For the last time, I'll go against my intuition and trust you in everything you do...

I promise. I'll try hard. I'll try my best...

You have to understand....

Mapping My Future

People always ask me what I want to do when I grow up... what is my ambition?

I always give a wide variety of answers which leaves alot of people very puzzled...

I've grown up already...

That question somehow strikes a chord of terror in me... "I have grown up already"...

I'm no longer in K2, where I scream out loud : "I'm going to be like my daddy! He's a big and famous engineer who builds tall tall buildings!"

nah... I'm no longer in P6, where I boast to my classmates : "I'm going to be a chemist! I'll make things that go boom! And colorful liquids!"

Nor am I in sec4, where I tell the people I love : "I'm going to be a dermatologist, I'll make sure that you'll always be beautiful, in my eyes and in everybody's eyes."

Finally I've almost finished poly and I say : "I'm going to make it big in the media industry. I'll be most wanted media technologist and expert in Singapore."



but... what on earth do I really want to be?

from physics to chemistry to biology, and now technology... the world offers so many choices, but I can only choose one road or I will risk being left behind...

I'm really ambitious, and those who know me well enough know that I'm very competitive as well...

but... I really love biology and science... That is one thing that I wish I could do...

But I have never regretted going to Media and Communication in SP... The people there impacted my life tremendously... I found real, true friends who loved, care and supported each other...

Will it be too late if I take a course in biomedical?...
I couldn't go biomedical at my year because the cut of point was too low... (L1R4 = 8 to be exact)

and no. my love for biomedical has nothing to do with Dominic... Though I wish I was his classmate... haha.. I think I'd end up being the "goody-two-shoes" nerd who'll help him do all his assignments and homework...


Nevertheless, I planned a career and education path that I wanted to take, resulting in the perfect job for me.

1) After poly, I will try and see if I can work a few more months in STOMP! to build up my experience. If I can't, I'll try to apply to mediacorp or an advertising house for basic pay. My ultimate goal in this phase is to build contacts and experience.

2) Once I'm in NS, I will only have 2 options. Either become and officer or a commando (or be in the Naval Diving Unit). I cannot, must not, and will not become a something lower then the rank of 2SG. My ultimate goal in this phase is to reach my pinnacle of physical fitness as well as improve my leadership and team working skills.

3) Once I finished NS, depending on the situation, I will have 2 options.

1. If I have saved up enough for basic living expense overseas, I will study overseas for 2 years in Queensland University of Technology and get my degree in Mass Communications. For my tuition fees, I'll teach piano as well as do freelance media jobs. (Then finish off with option 2)

2. If I have not saved up for basic living expenses overseas, I will do a one year diploma course in Dermatology, and cover my tuition expenses through apprenticeship and teaching piano. (Then finish off with option 1)

4) Once I have finish phase 3, I will find a job in the dermatology/skincare industry first, before slowly edging my way to being the public relations officer, human resource officer or in-house ad-agency team manager. (If I have enough time, I'll try for a part time degree in dermatology as well)

5) Finally, my ultimate goal is to create a dermatology/healthcare company...


more or less, phase 1 and 2 will be finished in 3 years time,
phase 3 will take between 3-5 years, depending on how long I can save up enough money.

phase 4 will take betwen 5 to 10 years, depending on how succesful is the company and how much I like the company.

phase 5 should be ready when I am 40 years old.


sigh. Why do I think so far?

what future is there anyway?


Currently, if Dominic will just stay by my side forever, I'll just be contented...

Dominic and I were talking not too long ago...
He wants to go somewhere near Queensland to study too, I think its biotechnology or biomedical sciences, something near that place...

so I suggested that maybe we could bunk together.. you know? Guy's dorm and stuff...

Haha, he was quite agreegable... but of course, must see his results first...

I'll try to do a diploma in dermatology first while waiting for him to finish NS. Then we'll zoom over and say bye bye!

He wouldnt need to pay for lodging then, cos I will be supporting him...

But in return, he must teach me biology and biomedicine! (wahahaha!)

I'll guess I'll teach him how to play some computer games too.. hehe...

And of coz, we'll be physically fit. (imagine the amount of exercise we'll get to do everyday! *cough* dont think so much)


After that, we'll come back to Singapore.... and... well.... the conversation stopped there...

I think he got a bit frightened....

=/


I can see the future... can you?
I just want to hold your hand...

Till we're old and grey, we'll laugh our troubles away... I'll carry you, you'll carry me...

Let me be your angel, and you can be mine...
Together we'll soar, past the dark night sky...





This is my future for you.

A few Thoughts

My brother and his girlfriend are on the rocks now.

Its just that, I never wondered why.

Girls.
Why do guys spend so much money on girls?
Why not vice-versa?

Why do guys insist on paying the bill?
Why not vice-versa?

Why do girls insist on talking on the phone every night?
Why not vice-versa?

Why do girls attribute all moodiness to mood-swings?
Why not vice-versa?

The thing is, I never found what's so appealing about girls that guys would sacrifice so much of their time, money and even friends to cater to a single woman.

I have always believed in the equality of men and women.
Yup. If a girl wants the same benefits as a guy, expected to be treated like a guy in return.

Genetically, women are NOT built to handle alot of things that guys go through.

Long working hours, high social stress, straineous activity (did i spell that correctly?).

Sure, they can do it. And many have proved that they can. But what is the end result?

Woman suffer from atheritist and bone decalcification at 40 years old
Woman suffer from miscarridges and infertility
Woman suffer from an unhappy family and distranged family life, thus resulting in emotional breakdowns.

I'm not saying that women should not act like a man.
But nobody is an independent creature.


ok. I'm crapping. (I was just irritated that a bung was lecturing me on woman's rights. - Like I care. I treat girls just fine, in my opinion.)

----

Yaay. I just bought Dominic's birthday present a few days ago.

His birthday is on 1st December.

But I've gotta start on it, or I'll never ever be able to complete it in time.
(btw. Its 4x harder then the one that I did for Michelle about 9 months ago)


sigh. Within this time where my life is with Dominic, I have already seen more then ten AJ couples and 2 straight couples get together and broken up.

Some said that the other did not have time for them
Some said that they only wanted fun
Some said that they could not see any future in the relationship.

I wonder. WHY start a relationship if you cannot see any future in it?

So I snap at them at tell them, "Its not a relationship, its a FLING."

Difference between a FLING and a RELATIONSHIP.

. visibly one-sided (one side gives in more to the other)
. irresponsibility (inability to commit to one person)
. self-centered (always think of own self first)

I believe that every relationship has its roots in a fling.
whether by infatuation or materialism.

It is when both parties realize that they have became a part of each other, when they go through the hurts together - and survive,

will they be qualified to be called a couple.


other then that, please call that "other-half" - a date.

Jolt Back to Reality

Throughout all this time...

It took me 1 hour of walking back home silently in the rain to realize that it wasn't you who has changed...
It was me...

All this time, you still loved me the same way as you did from the beginning... Your hugs, your kisses, the way you snuggled me...

waiting for me after lectures for hours in the library, bringing me to nice places to eat...


and I had to have someone remind me...


how could I even doubt?...

In every way you could, you still loved me....


You're still you after all... free-spirited, uncontrollable and unrestrained...
and yet I hurt you over and over again...

My emotions cut deep into your emotions...
My tears drive your tears...

I'm so sorry...

You promise... we promised that we'll hold strong... Till the day I let go your hand, you'll never let go of mine...



My insecurities drove me halfway round the world of madness...



But I'm back, stronger then ever...

And this time, I'll hold your hand and I'll show you what an angel can do, with wings... =)

Just a thought :

If man has no destiny, then he has no duty. No obligation, no responsibility. If man has no destiny, then he has no guidelines or goals. If man has no destiny, then who is to say what is right and what is wrong? Who is to say that a husband can’t leave his wife and family? Who is to say that you can’t abort a fetus? What is wrong with shacking up? Who says I can’t step on someone’s neck to get to the top? It’s your value system against mine. No absolute. No principles. No ethics. No standards. Life is reduced to weekends, paychecks and quick thrills. The bottom line is disaster.

“The existentialist,” writes existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre, “finds it extremely embarrassing that God does not exist, for there disappears with him all the possibility of finding values in an intelligible heaven… Everything is indeed permitted if God does not exist, and man is in consequence forlorn, for he cannot find anything to depend on within or without himself.”

If man has no duty or destiny, the next logical step is that man has no value. If man has no future, he isn’t worth much. He is worth, in fact, about as much as a tree or a rock. No difference. There is no reason to be here; therefore, there is no value.

And you’ve seen the results of this. Our system goes haywire. We feel useless and worthless. We freak out. We play games. We create false value systems. We say that you are valuable if you are pretty. We say that you are valuable if you can produce. We say that you are valuable if you can slam-dunk a basketball or snag a pop fly. You are valuable if your name has a “Dr.” in front of it or Ph.D. on the end of it. You are valuable if you have a six-figure salary and drive a foreign car.

Value is now measured by two criteria: appearance and performance.

Pretty tough system, isn’t it? Where does that leave the retarded? Or the ugly or uneducated? Where does that place the aged or the handicapped? What hope does that offer the unborn child? Not much. Not much at all. We become nameless numbers on mislaid lists.

Its from the newspaper... but it reflects my heart.... its forever, isn't it?... I won't let you leave me so fast yet.. =P 

bitch wounds

I learn to walk first before you :
"You know I'm still waiting for you."

Me :
"not again. I told you not to bring up this topic..."

I learn to walk first before you :
"How do you know he wont do that again?"

Me :
"do what?"

I learn to walk first before you :
"you know what i'm talking about"

Me :
"I dont know. and I dont want to know."

I learn to walk first before you :
"He will cheat on you again. This was ezy coz that guy is easy to reject. He's fat, old and ugly."

Me :
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I NEVER EVEN TOLD YOU ANYTHING!"

I learn to walk first before you :
"You're not the only friend I know."

Me :
"so you think you can break me and him up by making me insecure? as though I'm already not insecure enough??"

Me :
"bitch"

I learn to walk first before you :
"u will know soon enough. **** *** is my friend also."

Me :
"I swear after this conversation I'm going to block you."

I learn to walk first before you :
"why after this conversation? why not now?"

Me :
"ok. fine. damm bloody bitch."



arrgghh!!!!!! I hate her!!!
she had to open up old wounds and rub salt on it..

I think I'm beyond crying...

after this conversation I just set and stared into the blank night sky for half an hour before writing this entry...


I don't know why you like me. But if you want to get my heart, this is not the way to do it...
You're selfish, cruel and I'm damm lucky I never fell (or will fall) for you...

my life is full of drama..


*cries*

This is the work that has been put in for Hock Seng, my SDFTV final year project... It only scratches the surface of the complexity it involves, but yup, overall, this is quite a good gauge of the work put in =) btw, this is Final Cut Pro 

Quiz no. #1985920

Lol.... Quizzy while I wait for my movie to finish rendering


1. Name: Andrew
2. Middle Name: Hui
3. Status: Attached
4. Place of birth: Gleneagles Hospital
6. Male or Female: Male
7. Bus: MRT
8. School: Henderson Secondary School
9. Occupation: Student/Intern
10. Initials: Kyo
11.Screen Name: Kyo / Axton

Your Appearance :
12. Hair Color: Brown with blonde highlights
13. Hair Length: Below my neck
14. Eye color: Hazel
15. Best Feature: Sensitivity... maybe my built.
16. Height: 1.7
17. Braces?: Yah...
18. Glasses?: Yah...
19. Freckles?: Nope
20. Clothing style: Street style, Beach wear, Executive.

Your Firsts :
22. First best friend: Haryanto + Simon
23. First Award: Long Distance Swimming Award in Primary 2
24. First Sport You Joined: Swimming
25. First thing you did today: Crunches?
26. First Real vacation: Bangkok with my classmates last year
27. First thing you said today: uncle, 1 teh-peng
28. First True Love: God? and of course, Dominic =)


29. Movie: Artificial Intelligence
32. Rapper: NONE.
33. Place to get groceries: NTUC and the market i guess
34. Food: Anything wierd and spicy!
35. Season: Spring and Summer
36. Candy: Marks and Spencer's Chocolate Marshmellow Teacakes!
37. Sport: Swimming, Water Polo, Kayaking... haha. you know what i'm getting at
38. Restaurant: Kuishin-Bo!
40. Store: Watsons
41. School Subject: Science and English!
42. Animal: Hamsters, Golden Retrievers, German Shepherds
43. Book: Pop Fiction
44. Magazine: Seventeen, Men's Health

Currently :
45. Doing before you started this survey?: Editing a movie
46. Feeling: Impatient
47. Wearing: Black
48. Crying about: ?? nothing
49. Eating your brain: currently I might be forced to if Edmunt irritates me

What happened today.
50. Drinking: some wheatgrass thingie
51. Typing: this?
53. Listening: to the audio of Brotherhood
54. Thinking about?: NCT
55. Wanting: To hug Dominic
56. Watching: this screen
57. Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?: haha =) I'm waiting for somebody to make a decision
58. Kids?: umm. maybe i'll adopt a few
59. Want to be Married: Yeah... I dnno
60. Career in Mind: Hopefully a Dermatologist or a Technologist.

Which is Better with the Opposite Sex :
63. Hair color: Light brown
64. Hair length: Lol.. ummm messy?
65. Eye color: Hazel too
66. Measurements: Taller than me..
67. Cute or sexy: Both? lol..
68. Lips or Eyes: Both =P
69Hugs or Kisses: Hugs with kisses... haha
70. Short or Tall: Tall
71. Easygoing or serious: Easy going with people, but serious in love..
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: Romantic?
73. Good or Bad: Hmm... both.. haha
74. Sensitive or Loud: Sensitive enough to know, loud enough to catch my eye.
75. Hook-up or Relationship: Relationship
76. Harley or Crotch Rocket: umm... none?
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: Trouble maker... lolz

Have You Ever :
78. Kissed a Stranger: Hmm.. dont think so
79. Had major surgery: Yup.
80. Gone commando: Lol... Quite alot. haha
81. Ran Away From Home: Yeah
82. Broken a bone: Uh huh.
83. Got an X-ray: Yah.
84. Been on a cruise: nope
85. Broken Someone's Heart: Alot.
86. Dumped someone: Once
87. Cried When Someone Died: Uh huh
88. Cried At School: Yah

Do You Believe in:
89. God?: Definately
90. Miracles: yup
91. Love at First Sight: nope. destiny at first sight. not love... yet.
92. Ghosts: Yah
93. Aliens: who cares.
94. Soul Mate: Yup
95. Heaven: Yeah
96. Hell: Bad place. yes
97. Answered prayers: Yeah
98. Kissing on The First Date: Depends
99. Horoscopes: Its quite true.
100. Is there someone you wish you had?: I already have him =)

HoLLowEen AnybOdy? =D

Pumpkin Cheesecake

Serving: 16
Cook Time: 1 hour 15 minutes
Total Time: 2 hours plus chilling

INGREDIENTS:
Crumb Crust:

1 cup graham-cracker crumbs
3 tablespoons margarine or butter, melted
2 tablespoons sugar

Pumpkin Filling:

2 packages (8 ounces each) cream cheese, softened
1 1/4 cups sugar
1 can (16 ounces) solid-pack pumpkin (not pumpkin-pie mix)
3/4 cup sour cream
2 tablespoons bourbon or 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 large eggs

Sour-Cream Topping:

1 cup sour cream
3 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Crystallized ginger strips for garnish


DIRECTIONS:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In 9" by 3" springform pan, with fork, stir graham-cracker crumbs, melted margarine or butter, and sugar until moistened. With hand, press mixture onto bottom of pan. Tightly wrap outside of pan with heavy-duty foil to prevent leakage when baking in water bath later. Bake crust 10 minutes. Cool completely in pan on wire rack.

2. In large bowl, with mixer at medium speed, beat cream cheese until smooth; slowly beat in sugar until blended, about 1 minute, scraping bowl often with rubber spatula. With mixer at low speed, beat in pumpkin, sour cream, bourbon or vanilla, cinnamon, allspice, and salt. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating just until blended after each addition.

3. Pour pumpkin mixture into crust and place in large roasting pan. Place pan on oven rack. Carefully pour enough boiling water into pan to come 1 inch up side of springform pan. Bake cheesecake 1 hour 10 minutes or until center barely jiggles.

4. Meanwhile, prepare Sour-Cream Topping: In small bowl, with wire whisk, beat sour cream, sugar, and vanilla until blended. Remove cheesecake from water bath, leaving water bath in oven, and spread sour-cream mixture evenly over top. Return cake to water bath and bake 5 minutes longer.

5. Remove cheesecake from water bath to wire rack; discard foil. With small knife, loosen cheesecake from side of pan to help prevent cracking during cooling. Cool cheesecake completely. Cover and refrigerate cheesecake at least 6 hours or overnight, until well chilled. Remove side of pan to serve. Garnish with crystallized ginger.



yaay!! I'm going to make this for Holloween Party on 30th Oct! So DMC 3B02 MAKE SURE YOU COME!! =D
Its really tough, hope that I can make the cheese and pumpkin both have an even texture...

wahah... I might even go over to Clara Tu Di's house to learn from her a tip or two! lolz.. =D

Check out my monstrosity =D 

My ice cream was huge. Like mega huge. I asked the uncle for penut-butter flavour, but he ended up giving me a GIGANTICUS slice of key-lime flavour! hmmm.. not bad also.. right dear? haha 

ICE CREAM!!! Yummy scrumptous ice-cream!! =) Nothing better to refill lost energy by eating ultra energy food! x) 

Our sojourns led us into Amoy Street, and yes. That is my school PE T-Shirt. Surprised that you've ever seen me in it? Doubt so. I always wear it for gym. 

Anywayz, just a random note... Before the honour's roll gets replaced again, I'm took this photo to feel smug! And no. I'm not placed no. 231. Its just a serial number. 

Ok. This is Dominic acting diva and cam-whoring... lolz =) 

James invaded my bluetooth mobile and sent me a traumatising picture of him pinching his cheeks. ARRGH!!  

Well, this is him and me! We're currently standing in the middle of a huge central forum. In fact, it looks like a technopolis. With the monorail going in the building, it would look really neat soon! 

Vivo City rocks! One of the fun-nest shopping centers in Singapore! Went with Dominic and Daniel for our maiden tour of the megacomplex!! =) 

The Window

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour a day to drain the fluids from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed next to the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed would live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the outside world.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake, the man had said. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Lovers walked arm in arm amid flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Unexpectedly, an alien thought entered his head: Why should he have all the pleasure of seeing everything while I never get to see anything?

It didn't seem fair. As the thought fermented, the man felt ashamed at first. But as the days passed and he missed seeing more sights, his envy eroded into resentment and soon turned him sour. He began to brood and found himself unable to sleep. He should be by that window --- and that thought now controlled his life.

Late one night, as he lay staring at the ceiling, the man by the window began to cough. He was choking on the fluid in his lungs. The other man watched in the dimly lit room as the struggling man by the window groped for the button to call for help. Listening from across the room, he never moved, never pushed his own button which would have brought the nurse running. In less than five minutes, the coughing and choking stopped, along with the sound of breathing. Now, there was only silence-deathly silence.

The following morning the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths. When she found the lifeless body of the man by the window, she was saddened and called the hospital attendant to take him away. No words, no fuss.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it all himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed...........



It faced a blank wall.

haha.. =) this comic is pretty cool... Boy meets Boy, introduced by Mr. Boo =D 

Bastian's Personality Test and Evil Fortune Telling Weight Machines

found this on bastian's blog!
Its like something that Sonia tried to test Jason, Timothy and me in year 1... its really cool!

Thought I do not know if I really reflect some of the characteristics written here, there are some areas that are glaringly true.. =X

(i'll refer to it at the bottom)

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your paranoia to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

- 1) I hate conflict, but frankly speaking, I'm pretty quiet when I meet new people.. so I can appear to be anti-social...

- 2) Looks are important to me, but personality is even more important to me... and yes, when I do fall in love, I'm really very very serious about it...

- 3) OF COURSE results are important. Duh! I don't want to be a poor guy and unable to give the person I love a nice life..

- 4) yeah... there are some things I can't control... and I become paraniod very easily...

- 5) I think the last one might be due to my constant daily reflections on my blog... hmmm


* * *

Yeah! Clara played in the youth band today! I think she did pretty well, considering the sound absorbency level of the audience (i.e. I could hardly concentrate too!)

I'm really proud that she managed to remember the F/G, alternate chord formations!

*clap clap clap* =D


hmm.. after lunch, Dominic suddenly called... And I told him "nobody asked me out", and he instantly agreed to go out with me.. haha.. so sweet =)

we subsequently met Anthony and the every bouncy Jeremy bOo.

and I did something stupid... I went to play with some fortune-telling weight machine... and everybody started to play...

I realized that my weight has snapped back to 59 kg T_T
and I'm lighter then mr. BOO. *sobz*

Dominic was kinda depressed too...

sigh.

bad machine. BAD BAD machine.

I shall kick that machine the next time I see it...


sorry dar.. I shouldnt have played with that machine...


*hugz*

oh. and one more thing... If you all are feeling bored with life, or you think that you wish your eyes to explore the cinema more then the movie itself, World Trade Center is the show for you... Right. its based on a true story, but the camerawork, the cinematography, the storyline and music sucks. COMPLETELY. I've havnt watched a worser movie since... ok. i dunno if i have watched a worser or more boring movie before.. 

wahaha! This is a picture I couldn't resist but take on the way to Marina Square... Wahaha... Its a really cute japanese restaurant in citylink... RAKU NINJA!! lolz... I'll bring you there to eat next time k dear? =) 

We went to Kuishin-Bo to celebrate our 11 month anniversary.. haha =D I just love that place... its only $19.90, a few more dollars from Sakae Suahi, BUT the variety of food is explosive!! wahaha.. thats dominic before me and him starts our gluttony spree! =D 

Dessert at Kuishin-Bo!! ITs like so nice lah!! The temptation is beyond bearing for anybody who looks at this picture... *drools* wahaha.. dont worry, we didnt waste a single pice of the deliciouss food =D 

Guess whats this! ITS GRILLED SALMON BELLY!! xD (the agedashi tofu is nice too) buT OMG. THE GRILLED SALMON BELLY IS SO NICE!!! it actually melts in your mouth! and makes you feel fat afterwards even though you know its full of omega -3 =X 

After eating an extremely heavy meal, we walked around marina and citylink mall looking at clohes and finally, ended up playing pool with the rest of the SP AJs! Umm... Dominic plays pool super well =D ( i suck at playing pool.. can't even shoot straight T_T) and the guy in red at the far corner is Alvin! He's our resident star singer =) 

The guy on the left is NewbiEz! Our beloved *cough* umm.. leader!! wahaha. Really cute and well organized guy... Plays pool really well too! 

DMC 3B02 ExTrEme MaKeoVer! =D

well, the great tutorial session had to be complemented by a GREaT dinner in SIM! Ate untill we were stuffed to the brink..
Oh yah, if you strain your eyes, to the far right, you can see Timothy, the Celebrity SP SUPERSTAR actor! *hint hint : Daniel*

whahaha =D

Haha, this is DMC 3B02 EXTREME MAKEOVER!!! We had a super fun tutorial thanks to James, Jiahui, Aizat and Ryan!
I think tutorial sessions should be something like that.. its so fun!

Haha, I guess they're going to get the highest marks for this module already, but really, for their effort, I think they deserve it hands down =)

oh! The chio models up there are May, Jasmine and Sharina (proudly brought by Andrew, one of the makup artists!) haha =D

EXTREME MAKEOVER 3B02!!

ok. i'm ok.

Everything is ok already... I just don't want to talk about what happened already ok?


just don't ask me.


everybody makes mistakes in their lives...

the true champions are those who can pick themselves up and those who can learn to forgive...


*hugs*

I love you dear..

Happy 11th month anniversary =)

When Friends become Enemies.

What do you do when someone way more powerful stabs you in the back?

Answer : Nothing. You just wait till you die.


I can't believe it. A friend.
I THOUGHT HE WAS MY FRIEND!!!

why?

Just because he is a super power in the AJ circle means you can do something like that?


ARRGH!!!!


*cries*


and I cannot. repeat. cannot do anything about it because my word holds no value against YOURS.

at your command, you change politics and break friendships.
at your command, mega-based activities are planned.
at your command, few can say anything against you.


I'm distraught
I'm incensed
I'm helpless.

You ALMOST won.
YOU ALMOST WON!!!!! *SCREAMS*

if I havn't known the truth at the very last minute. I would be still in the dark, still going crazy over my insecurity.

Why didnt he want me to go along with him to club?
or rephrased.

Why WOULDNT he want me to go along with him to club?


YOU MASTERMINDED IT ALL ALONG!!

you turned somebody I loved against me.

I will NEVER forgive you for that.



to think I treated you as a friend.
you bastard.
you bitch.
you paedophilic whore!




....


if not for the fact that our love still remains strong that I will not release your name on my blog.

you betrayed me.

you backstabbed me.

I can't do anything about that. but ask yourself this.

ask your own conscience.


...


I doubt you read my blog. After all, you're too high up there. TOO high profile.

Get your back covered.

I will NEVER EVER look at you in the same light again.






*cries*











today is our 11th anniversary.
can you say you still love me as much?

i guess....

I just want to guess that you still do...

longest quizzy in the world.

hmm.. since Joaven tagged me to do this, i'll do it...

QUIZ TIME! xD

1) Full name: Andrew Hui Kok Fong

2) Name spell backward: Gonf Kok Iuh Werdna

3) Were you named after anyone: Umm.. Saint Andrew?

4) Meaning of name: something to do with bravery and courage

5) Nickname: lotsof em, Kyo, Axton, angelboy, Xtremer

6) Screen Name: Axton/Kyo

7) D.O.B: 02.05.1987

8) Place of Birth: Gleneagles Hospital

9) Nationality: Singaporean

10) Current Location: Tanjong Pagar

11) Star Sign: Taurus

12) Religion: Christianity

13) Height: 1.73m

14) Weight: 59-60 kg

15) Shoe Size: 8.5

16) Hair Color: BLONDE -.-

17) Eye Color: Hazel

18) Who do you look like: umm... ben. My senior. apparantly

19) Inner or Outer: Outer - you asked for looks right?

20) Left or Right: Right

21) Gay, Lesbian, Straight, Bi or others: Gay.

22) Best Friend: The ASH, Yushaa, Jeremy, Elina, Phoebe, Timothy

23) Best Friend you trust most: hmm. The ASH bah. =)

24) Fav Pals: Read above.

25) Best Friend of the opp sex: Jeremy. Yes. Definately

26) Best Buddies: The ASH? and the 3 gals. 1 guy thingie. (re: above)

27) Boyfriend or Girlfriend: had my gal, had my guy. but i'd rather stick with the person in my heart. now.

28) Crush: Scroll a few entries down and you should see him. jeez! not me! I mean Steven. (though the name is *cough*)

29) Parents: duh. waddayameanidonthaveparents?howcouldyoueventhinkofthat

30) Worst Enemy: insecurity

31) Fav online guy: #aj and #myplace peepz? ok. those are GUYS.

32) Fav online girl: XiaoWei mei mei!

33) Craziest Friend: I think that would be my entire DMC 3B02 class. That makes it "Friends"

34) Advice Friend: Jeremy booooo.

35) Loudest Friend: Jeremy booooo.

36) Person you cry with: umm.. i dont usually cry. but my classmates has seen me cry before in year 1.

37) Any sisters: 0 kosong. nil. I wish my youngest bro was a gal though. wahaha. jk. I wont have anybody to play DoTA with then.

38) Any brothers: 2

39) Any Pets: 3 hamsters who became 10 hamsters who became 2 hamsters. yup. so its 2 now still.

40) Any disease: [btw. joaven. Asthma isnt a disease. its an allergy]. nope.

41) Any Pagers: PAGERS? wtf. hmm. I have a really old pager which is bright orange and I used to like it alot - as an alarm clock. haha.

42) Personal Phone Line: nope. my line is under my father's name.

43) Cell Phone: MOBILE PHONE. MOBILE PHONE! nobody uses cell phone nowadays!! wth? which era do you live in?

44) Cell Sponser line: Moscowtel, Vodafone. - duh. M1 lah! wah kao. only Moscowtel and Vodafone has CELL lines.

45) Pool or HotTub: Both are equally as fun to me. But I'd rather a pool with my dar. So I can splash water on people and swim away quickly. haha!

46) A car: yup. Hotwheels, Firedrake, Batmobile toy. yupz. lotsof cars.

47) Personality: i'm still trying to figure that out. you could always do my johari window and see what people have to say though (re : below my tagboard)

48) Driving: yup. I used to push my Hotwheels and Firedrake together.

49) Room: cramped. messy.

50) Whats Missing: Dominic moving in and staying with me.

51) School: School of Language and Communications + Business + ICT + SP + umm.. self-thought school of multi-disciplinary studies.

52) Bed Color: blueee. dark blue to be precise. I'd freak out if my bed was baby blue.

53) R'ship with Parents: Pragmatic basis.

54) Believe in Yourself: believe in God more.

55) Believe in LOVE at first sight: haha. Love? no. more of destiny =)

56) Good-Listener: I prefer listening to talking most of the time... haha.. but sometimes... quietness is really beautiful also...

57) Get along with parents: Pragmatic basis.

58) Save email conversations: yup. completely. I have my record of every single conversation since 2004. [size = 100+mb only]

59) Pray: Yup. Its good to have somebody always watching you.

60) Believe in reincarnation: no. i think that its an impossible logic. - or the worlds population won't be growing so rapidly.

61) Make fun of people: If i'm close to them.

62) Like talking on the phone: Not really a phoney person.

63) Want to get married: To the person I really love? yeah. But frankly, I think I dont think marriage has a set role. rather more, a union of hearts.

64) Like to drive: I suck at Daytona, Outrun and any other racing games.

65) Morning Sickness: hmm. no.

66) Eaten Stem of Brocoli: yah. when my mum gave us no option.

67) Eat chicken with fork: fork? sounds barbaric. but I think i've done so before.

68) Dream in color: Multicolored? blue sky? rainbow?... there's not really a color to describe it.

69) Type your finger in home role: - *stares blankly* -

70) Sleep with stuff animal: I used to have this big mickey mouse.

71) Next to you: Right - Hamsters . Left - TV

72) On the walls in your room: Victor's graduation cert -.-

73) On your mousepad: i dont use mousepads. *sniggers*

74) Dream car: I never dreamt about cars in my dreams. whatever for when you can fly?

75) Dream date: Its dominic. strangely. haha

76) Dream Honeymoon spot: Califonia!! =D or maybe a soft, quiet beach in Bali or something...

77) Dream Husband or Wife: You guess?

78) Bedtime: between 12 - 2 AM

79) Under your bed: Victor (my older bro)

80) Single most important Question: Why doesn't God reply me?

81) Bad time of Day: between 2:30-3:30

82) Your worst fear: losing my love ones..

83) The weather is: PSI - 75, 30 degree centigrade, bright, sunny, and hazy.

84) Time: 11:31 AM

85) Date: 12.10.2006

86) Best trick did on someone: hmm.. something in primary school .

87) Theme Song: Guy Sebestian - Angels Brought Me Here

88) Hardest thing about growing up: The weight of responsibility and the loss of innocence.

89) Funniest experience: lots of em.

90) Scariest experience: the red house photoshoot incident.

91) Silliest thing you ever did: snigger and choke on my food. =X

92) Scariest thing when you are with your friend: The day when Haryanto almost died.

93) Worst feeling: insecurity. definately

94) Best feeling in the world: being in his arms

95) Last words : did you all even read the above? this is like such a long quiz.

****

okie. off to school =)

*hugs dominic*

hmm.. dunno why I couldnt get the rest of the pics online, but this is the pic at the end of the exhibition! =) 

Lol! Guess where I was today! Clue : big blue balls with halo sticks jutting out, high-tech looking devices, smart cards..... yes. none other then INNOVATIONATION!! 

So concludes our INNOVATIONATION journey in an array of pointless fencing. umm.. I guessed I learnt a bit, not being boastful or anything, I knew most of it even before the exhibition.. and more even. =X guess thats the price of being a tech-nerd.  

Hi Flora Hi Jia Hui! We're playing a really funny game of virtual ball. Its damm tough. However, James got it. smart dude. =) 

Dreams [and the 800th post]

I just realized I have reached my 800th post.

yup. congrats to you reader, you're reading the 800th post on my blog =)


anywayz, to those people who have been messaging me or asking me about how I can do what I can do in my dreams (i.e. my house on the hill etc.)

I do not know.

really. all I know is that from young, I could focus my mind to think of something before I fall asleep, and I will appear in that particular thought.

but I can only focus my mind to think of peaceful stuff before I fall asleep or I obviously won't be able to fall asleep.

(i.e. focusing my mind to think of failure of examination would keep me awake all night)

but there are times when things are at the back of my mind and would not go away.... and sometimes, it surfaces in my dreams also...

like for example, when I watched Ju-Onn, I was really really freaked out and scared.... I kept seeing things in the dark even...
so when i finally fell asleep, Ju-Onn visited me in my dreams.

haha. not funny. it is not laughable to have that little boy appearing in your beautiful dream.

So at that time, I realized I could force myself to focus, even in my dreams (kind of like pinching yourself, but you wont wake up type of feeling), and I could alter the reality in my dream to something I would like to see.

thus, that little boy appearing got mixed with Sadako and started growing hair. He got strangled in his own hair and fell into a bucket of water. All his "powder" came off and he became a pretty cute little boy who stayed with me in my house playing hide and seek for like a few days...

you see, even time doesnt measure up in dreams.

I just never know when I might wake up.

most of the time, I don't want to.

the longest time I ever spent was 3 months in a dream. believe it or not, I learnt my whole geometry chapter overnight.
(remember adjacent and opposing angles, sine cosine and hypotenuse? yup. that sec 3 chapter.)

maybe it was because I liked that topic so much I even came up with the formulas in my dreams.




but, there are times when I can't control the dream.

those dreams are the dreams which I do not know (or believe) I am dreaming.

it can be because I am anticipating an examination failure or a death of a person close to me, that when the dream knocks on my door, I found myself unable to seperate illusion from reality.

and there are extremely rare times, when you're just helpless against the onslaught of the merciless dream... just because you care too much for the people in your dream.

i can change the situation, but i can't change the people...

its like.... hmmm.... a superhuman being, able to do everything except go against his own self and the people around him...



finally, dreams are tiring things...
mostly, I just sleep, even when I know I'm in the house on the hill, I just sleep.


If I even bother to wake up in my dream, I know its going to be a sleepy lecture the next day.

Unstoppable Nightmares

I had a nightmare....

a really terrible nightmare last night....

I woke up crying...


Usually I can prevent nightmares... but this nightmare just invaded and I couldnt stop it...

I guess its because it was something out of my control...

For example, if it were a ghost visiting me in my nightmare, I'd be able to twist reality in my dreams and turn it into a chicken-ghost or something like that...

but I don't think I have power to twist the reality of people who have control over me...


even in my dreams...


you left me there... alone.
Only Yushaa, Phoebe and Jeremy were left...

You took his hand and walked away...
I covered my eyes and ran... as far as I could...

I didnt want you to see my anguish or tears.

Jeremy told me, "If you love him, let him go. If he is meant to be yours, he will return... If he doesn't he wasn't yours in the first place."

Phoebe wrote to me to ask me to leave you alone

Yusha told me that she would rather not talk to me

Jeremy... just disappeared.


so i stood on my hill... the landscape that I created in my dreams...

the hill with the rainbow and a small house...


I could see you walking further and further away...

You seemed happy with him...


I wanted to run to you...

But when I turned, you were already there.

You said, "Its been too long... you know it has been too long. No matter how long you want it to be, it is not you who makes the decision."


then i woke up...

I actually broke one of the frames around my bed when I was dreaming..

I havnt had such a real and powerless terrible nightmare for years...


even my reality invades my dreams...




i think i need to recreate my house on the hill.... it has been my sanctuary.. too long....

lol.. haha... dont you think this guy looks a bit like Julien Hee? xD hmmmm...